David vs. The People
All rise for honorable Judge Debbie (everyone in class)
Judge-
You may be seated. I call for opening statements.
Prosecution-
Today in this courtroom, we will witness an open and shut case. The defense may try to fool you into believing falsehoods and supernatural occurrences. However, do not allow yourself to be fooled. What we have here today is a man who so eloquently trained himself in the art of fighting. A man who honed his skills till the opportune moment arose where he could showcase them. However, although his skills may seem impressive, we cannot forget the real reason we are here today. A man was killed. Now this was not your ordinary man. True, he was tall in stature and big in girth. But appearances can be deceiving. Goliath was in fact a caring loving individual whose life was cut short when he was viciously murdered by this man, David. When you decide today what the outcome should be, keep in mind that this man has free choice and he chose to do evil.
Now, may I direct your attention to a reenactment of this brutal murder.
Defense-
Now, we have heard the prosecution speak of murder and free choice. But I want everyone here today to take a step back and realize this situation in its entirety. Goliath was not a good person. He was ruthless, he was heartless, he was a killer. David, on the other hand is just a simple little shepherd. He is practically harmless to anyone. On the day in question, he was only doing what any of us would have done- defending himself from a tall, frightening individual. So I call on everyone today to realize that people do have free choice and that defending yourself is a choice that David made.
Now, watch the defense’s reenactment.
Prosecution-
The people call David to the stand your honor.
Now, David, may I trouble you for you full name?
So, you have no last name, just David?
Alright then, Mr. David, how old were you at the time of this incident?
Defense
Objection, relevance!
Judge
Overruled- get to the point
Prosecution-
So, would you consider yourself a man, fully capable of deciding between right and wrong?
Is it true that at an early age, as a shepherd, you developed fighting skills by defending your flocks from wild animals including lions and bears, which, if I might add, are two of the fiercest and most threatening animals in these parts?
Is it also true that these skills are now great enough and have developed with age that you could not only fend off wild animals, but that you could possibly kill a man?
Defense-
Objection- how could the witness possibly answer this hypothetical question?
Judge-
Sustained- watch it!
Prosecution-
Is it true that the man you murdered, Goliath, was in fact a man with a family, a wife and 8 children?
David-
Well, I don’t…
Defense-
Objection your honor!
Judge-
Sustained
Prosecution-
Alright, Mr. David, on the day in question, were you present on the hills of Elah?
And, is it also true that although short in stature you readily volunteered to take on a man 9 feet tall?
And, furthermore, after you volunteered to fight this man, Goliath, did you go to a nearby creek and gather five stones which you intended to use for murder?
Your honor, if you will allow it, I have a picture to show everyone.
As you can see, in Exhibit A, this man was killed with precision and skill. The stone did not bounce off him. It in fact went directly through his skull. This shot was not meant to defend a person, it was clearly meant for murder. No further questions your honor.
Defense-
David, when this event occurred, you were in war time, correct?
David-
Yes, this is true.
Defense-
Was Goliath armed?
David-
Most definitely- sword, shield, the works.
Defense-
And did he threaten your life?
David-
Yes.
Defense-
Can you tell us the exact words he used?
David-
“Come to me and I will give thy flesh to the fouls of the air and to the beasts of the field.” I’m gonna kick your trash.
Defense-
I see. And David, how much would you say you weighed at the time of this incident?
David-
Around 125
Defense-
And how much would you say Goliath weighed?
David-
Around 450
Prosecution-
Objection! Speculation
Judge-
Sustained
Defense-
No further questions, your honor.
Judge-
Closing statements please.
Prosecutor-
In closing, I ask the Judge to do what’s right. Send this man to prison.
Defense-
David is innocent, he was clearly defending himself against a man four times his size.